by Guest Author
It dawned on me that the outlaws had left when I noticed that the recycle bin was less than half full of empty bottles on collection day and my tapeworm has been very restless of late. It was sad to say good buy to the old tops as the house feels strangely empty but looks like a cyclone moved through it over the weekend and no international relief aid evident this morning. Last week included some historical events in our family beginning with the discovery of a chicken egg in the chook cage. Considering the bantams egg was easily as large as one found in the jumbo pack at the supermarket I have my suspicions that she has either been struggling over the last few weeks to dilate her sphincter or Oupa had a quiet chuckle to himself on the plane home. Next was Keal who lost his first tooth for which the tooth mouse paid handsomely.
The weekend had us down the Gold Coast where we stopped at the South African shop to buy the essentials like, Mrs Balls, Rooibos, savannahs, mielie meal, Pronutro, white Easter eggs and some droe wors. Then it was up Tamborine Mountain where we had a lovely rainforest walk and a visit to the local museum before lunch at Thunderbird Park.
Living with a wife on a detox diet is not something the marriage counselling class covers. The diet usually begins on a Monday morning with an excited eagerness until the sugarless black rooibos is put on the bedside table. The initial frown is soon replaced with a motivated smile and after the first sip turns into a wince of disgust. Note it is not a good time to recommend botox as the wrinkled frown remains while she picks her way through fruit, boiled meals and glasses of water. Also be careful that some cheerful motivation could also be mistaken for a sadistic comment as she manages her headache without the aid of modern medicine. A life threatening move is to crack open an ice cold beer at the end of the day. All her sacrifice and suffering was rewarded on Friday night with a girls night out in Manly where Im sure she made work of topping up all her levels for this weeks diet.
Our family experienced several firsts this weekend, beginning with my first appearance at touch rugby on Friday night, which I still feel in my thigh muscles today. The next was Tyles rugby team winning their first game this season playing at Ballymore where he scored a try and received the Man of the match award. We walked off the McDonalds lunch in the Mt Cootha National Park which has spectacular views over Brisbane River and city.
On Sunday we were up early preparing to make our Australian debut at church. We dragged the boys to the cute little Anglican Church up the road. A combination of death threats and bribery of sweets had the boys sitting quietly through the service. The church was full of the typical congregation of old folks looking to get a last minute visa to heaven and some young families hoping their children will be guided down the straight and narrow remembering most of the Ten Commandment by their 21st birthdays. Keal coughed and sniffed his way through the first part of the service bringing on much excitement when a sneeze produced a pair of mucus stalactites. The boys where rewarded for good behaviour at the local Scout fair where they participated in all the usual money making rackets disguised behind charity banners. The sausage sizzle, tombola, candy floss, whiteelephant, luck dip, tea and scones was enjoyed by all.
Miss: Windhoek lager, Spur family steak houses
Dont miss: Big Brother, Idols etc (Weve got it all)