Downunder Diary
by Guest Author
July
We started major renovations at our home, ripping down the old 3x3m Aussie shed to make way for a monster, which is almost big enough to park a small Cesna in it. Various flower beds have been upended and we have ordered a large sliding door that will open out onto a covered patio which is to be built by me, myself, I. Im hoping that years of Mecano and Lego will give me the grounding to tackle this engineering feat. My trusty handlanger Bianca was at my side carting away pavers and ensuring that there were at least four sugars in my coffee to wash down the thick apricot jam sandwich. Eish.
The boys have a new blond sister in the form of a golden retriever, who is a little darling, full of beans and still getting away with murder during this cute stage. Im sure it wont be long before our shoes and other stuff turn up in the flower beds and the land mines get more life threatening. Bianca and the boys are now on school holidays and its very tough getting up in the mornings as they lie snuggled up in bed as the cold weather has finally set in.
We fired up our new biltong machine and hung half a cows worth of spiced and vinegared meat. It is going to be the longest week of our lives as it takes about five days to dry enough to eat. The good thing is that the modified metal tromel can take two padlocks which will be my best investment if I want to ensure there is no pilfering.
August
I suffered a number of desperately humiliating and embarrassing incidents last week when catching the train to work. Tyle and I were late and found ourselves at the ticket office without any cash. The kind ticket lady agreed to let us repay her later so we grabbed our tickets and sprinted for the train managing to get in as the doors closed.
We made our way down the aisle and found a pair of empty seats facing two ladies of comfortable physique. As I bent down to sit the train pulled off throwing me off balance and falling in slow motion towards the pair of generously proportioned mammaries. I considered putting my hands out to break my fall, but on noticing the only suitable place to do this decided that it was not a good option. The only thing that would save me as I continued my fall towards the pair of DDs was if the train hit the brakes and threw me back into my seat. Then suddenly it felt as if I had fainted as everything went very quiet and blacked out. Just then I was plucked out of my compromising headlock and thrust back into my seat. Politely I greeted the ladies with a pleased to meet you to which the lucky one replied: You orright mate. We can see who ya fell for. Just love the Aussie sense of humour.
The house reno is coming along slowly and we have just finished the covered patio that has made a massive difference to our little house. The garage shed is the next project which well start after we have installed our water tank and laid some new grass this weekend. Our puppy, Toffee, is growing up a little quicker than expected and what we thought was a medium range K9 is quickly turning out to be super-sized. She has a lovely temperament and the boys have already taught her to sit, lie down, stay and go home as we often find her socialising with our neighbours in the cul de sac.
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